The Girl I Used to Be

Being in Louisiana this past weekend has brought back so many memories of my junior-high years when we lived there. It is hard to believe that’s been 30 years ago. The experiences I had there are still fresh in my mind, yet a lot happens in 3 decades!

I’ve been trying to remember the dreams and aspirations I had as a 13-year-old. Did I imagine myself in 30 years? I doubt it. How can a barely-teen-age girl possibly conceive of what it’s like to be a middle-aged woman? I do know this much: being middle-aged is nothing like what I thought it would be. In my mind, I am not 43! But… it doesn’t matter. Life is good, and I am happy with who I am.

As I’ve been contemplating these things I was reminded of this poem I came across several years ago:

She came tonight as I sat alone..
The girl I used to be….
And she gazed at me with her earnest eyes
And questioned reproachfully:

Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame,
All the wonderful things to do?

Where is the mansion of stately height
With all its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels in your hair?

And as she spoke, I was very sad
For I wanted her to be pleased with me…
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl that I used to be.

So gently rising, I took her hand
And guided her up the stairs
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet, and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems,
And precious they are to me;
That silken robes, is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.

My mansion of stately height is love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls
For the dear ones who come and go.

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me.
And I saw the woman that I am now
Pleased the girl I used to be.

~Author unknown


  • Renee

    Such a beautiful poem! When I look in the mirror, I am sometimes surprised to me at 44 – lol! It definitely is not what I expected – it's so much better – lol. Wonderful post!

  • Sweet Blessings

    I know! In my mind I am very young until I try and do the butt bounce on the trampoline with my girls-lol! Don't do it-two words-whip lash!! In some ways I am very much the same-thank the Lord for maturity and the blessing of wisdom that comes with age though. Blessings! Amanda:)

  • TattingChic

    Oh, it's me again! I just came back over to say thank you for entering my giveaway! Good luck to you! I'm really glad you entered because I know how much you want to learn to tat. Well, at least I know you've mentioned it before!

  • Constance

    That is a great poem! At that same age my future plans were to be a Ballerina. I had been studying seriously for several years already and I slept, ate and breathed dancing! All of that changed in high school when I met a boy. I made some very foolish choices (driven by generational sin that I was unaware of) and reaped the consequence of a teenage pregnancy at 16, married at 17, divorced and was a single mom by 19. Goodbye to those dreams…

    Today that child is 31 and she is a beautiful Godly woman! She has blessed us with 3 grandchildren and a wonderful son-in-law. I wouldn't trade Jennifer for all of the fame or recognition that the world could offer. God allowing me to be her mother (as well as mother to our 3 other children) is the best future He could have ever given me!


  • Nancy M.

    Great poem! When I was young, I don't think I thought about life after my early 20's. Everything was so "now" oriented. I kinda still feel like a kid inside.

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